Ty and Sy's Baby Bunting Says

Ramblings of a stay at home momma …

Saying No Without The Guilt

It’s one of the hardest things to do, saying “no” to our children. As parents, we want to give everything to our children. It’s very hard to say “no” to those desperate eyes piercing right through us. But we know, deep down, we have to say it.

When It’s Time To Say No

There are a lot of reasons why it’s so hard to say “no” to our kids. Based on my experience, I would rather just give in so that I wouldn’t have to argue. It’s quite tiring to argue.

Another reason why I have a hard time saying “no” is because I don’t want my kids to feel deprived. As a parent, I want to make it better for my kids. As much as possible, I want them to have a better life. Giving them everything they want is a way for me to make it better. But, of course, that’s not exactly ideal parenting.

According to Stacy Johnson of Money Talks News, it’s okay to say no to our kids. Even if they’re hard to resist, it’s okay to say the two-letter word to our kids most especially if our budget can’t accommodate what they want. This takes a lot of explaining but we need to do it. By not giving in to every single whim of our children, we are building their character.

Helpful Tips To Say “No”

Here are some great tips to help us say “no”. I’m sure these tips will come in handy for us, parents.

Give an alternative, not an ultimatum. When kids want something and they can’t get it, they either cry or throw a tantrum. One of our most common mistakes is to give them an ultimatum. So we resort to saying something like, “If you don’t stop crying, you’ll be grounded.” So instead of giving an ultimatum, we should give an alternative.

Brief them before going to the mall. Kids usually want to buy something when they go to the mall. Stacy Johnson suggests this.

“Explain before you go what you’re there to get and this trip won’t involve something for them. But offer to take them another day so they can use their own money to buy something.”

I find this a very creative way of saying “no” because it really doesn’t require us to that two-letter word.

Take some time to communicate, instead of saying “no” immediately. Again, Stacy Johnson recommend that we do this.

“What you need to do is ask the child why they want what they want and then explain why it’s not just possible right now. The key is to be positive but firm.”

This takes a lot of effort and it can be tiring. But I think our kids deserve to know why they can’t buy something at that moment. So instead of sending a negative impact by saying “no”, we should really set them aside so that we can talk to them properly.

These tips don’t really make us say “no”. But they all pretty much sum up to the word “no”. That said, we can finally “say no’ without the guilt.

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Tips For Stay-At-Home Mom Wannabees

stay-at-home-momI have been a stay-at-home for a couple of years. I made that decision and never looked back. Choosing to stay home was the best decision I made. I love that that I can be with my kids all the time.

But of course, I had to adjust to this kind of lifestyle. It wasn’t an overnight transition but it was definitely worth it. A lot of my friends admire my graceful transition to motherhood. As a matter of fact, some of them are inspired to take on the challenge to become a stay-home mom as well. So hopefully this can shed some light.

The Starting Line

While I have countless of tips for a stay-at-home mom wannabee, this video gives a good insight as to what to do first.

“The very first thing I would say is practice. If you have the luxury of being in a career now and you can start to wean yourself out of that second income and rely only on your spouse’s income. That’s the best place to start because then you can really see if it’s a feasible option for you.”

I wish I had known that before. In my case, I made an abrupt decision after I gave birth. Although I never regretted it, I was not prepared to for it. So I think it’s best to practice and carefully adjust to a one-income household before making the decision.

Look Ahead And Plan

Before making the decision, it’s best to look ahead and plan.

“… things like long term planning, things like insurance so that when you do have the children, you’re already fully insured to make sure … if ever anything happens to you, it’s gonna be alright for your kids.”

Insurance is definitely a big consideration. Whether it’s a health or medical insurance, it’s something to really think about. If a one-income household can handle the payments, then it’s all good. In my case, I’m pretty lucky to have been able to save up for it. The savings is a good fallback and is one of the major considerations in my decision to stay home.

Learn To Organize

The top priority to organize is bills. Make a breakdown of the daily expenses.

“The base thing there we see there is actually organizing your meals, meal planning. You can meal plan two weeks in advance … you avoid eating out.”

This is so true. Meal planning is really one effective way to control the daily expenses. I learned this in the process. In hindsight, my transition would have been a lot smoother if I had known this sooner.

Don’t Stop Learning

This is one tip that I feel strongly about. No matter what, the learning should not stop. As a stay-home mom, a lot of things will change. Priorities will change. But the learning shouldn’t stop.

“… you can do so much online now … research and do online classes to better yourself …”

Don’t Look Back

Deciding to be a stay-home mom is easy. But transitioning to the role is going to be really challenging. So once the decision has been made, don’t look back. Every single challenge is worth it. Nothing can beat the feeling of seeing the kids grow up and simply being there for them.

So hopefully these tips can shed some light to a stay-at-home mom wannabee.

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